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Home > Ask A Career Coach > I feel like I'm having to start a new life!

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I feel like I'm having to start a new life!

Donnette P. on March 7, 2016

Career Change, Career Management, Job Search, Work/Life/Cancer Balance

It has been 3 years since I diagnosed with breast cancer which led to chemotherapy and 5 surgeries later. I have been trying to work off and on as much as possible however I still have chemobrain symptoms and get very fatigued. I have a long commute to and from work, I started this particular job just before the diagnosis, and it was a job with a steep learning curve to begin with but I had the skills and experience to learn quickly. Course this is no longer the case, even though I work just 20 hours a week. I am 64 years old, have always worked as a professional but did not plan well financially and I need to work at least until I'm 67, maybe longer. I have decided that I do not have the stamina or motivation to continue this job, and financially I cannot continue to live in my home state of Hawaii and am moving to Washington state to live near my younger daughter and find work there. I have lived in WA before and have some community support there. I feel like I'm starting a new life and not even sure what kind of work I want to do anymore. I try to go to sleep early at night, some nights sleeping is better than others. I try to go to my gentle yoga classes at least 2 times a week. I meditate every morning. I try to cook and eat simple nutritional meals. I choose the social events depending upon how many people are there and what kind of people, but my outings are still limited. My support system is primarily on the phone. My coworkers have moved ahead and differently since I've been back. I am ready for a change. I'm excited and I'm scared! Help!



3 Comments

Image of Kathy F.

Kathy F.

Mar 7, 2016

Hi, Donnette;
It sounds like you are in the midst of an expected life transition to the next stage of adulthood while facing some parallel challenges brought on by your illness and recovery. Those of us over 60 know that this life transition alone is a big challenge. At the same time, you are coping with the changes in energy and spirit that cancer wrought, and the exciting but a bit scary change that a relocation will bring. I heartily congratulate you as a woman of courage who does not see limits. Good for you!

I definitely see the reasons for your need to move on, and the excitement of moving close to family and an established support group. Know that your feeling of starting a new life is real, and the changes you have chosen can definitely spur you on to do something that you may have never even thought of before. When one moves to a new area, it is challenging both personally and professionally; yet it can open doors that you may not have even considered opening before the move. At the same time, moving locations, changing jobs and financial pressures can each individually add substantial stress to your life let alone all three at once. This stress can be particularly acute in the few years following such changes, as you settle in and become acclimated to the new location, the new roles and your new identity. (Yes, you have set up conditions that allow you to forge an entirely new identity if you so choose.)

In order to manage these stressors to your advantage, there are a few things that you can put in place to mitigate them. I will offer them here for your consideration.
- Your new location matters. I assume you have traveled to the town in which you want to live and selected a living space that will be both accommodating to your needs, and affordable. If not, it is probably a good idea to do so prior to solidifying your other plans.
- Be sure to consult with your medical team early enough in the process to enable them to research and make good referrals for you in your new location.
- Do some preliminary research into the employment market in that new location by contacting the local Chambers of Commerce, the state employment One Stop Center that serves the location, and any online research resources that you trust. (I recommend looking at online job postings in an aggregator such as Indeed.com for a baseline understanding.)
- Then, turn your attention to yourself to gain a realistic but exciting picture of what you love doing, what you have the skills and capability to do, and what may be possible given your current level of energy. Also look at payscale for these things, so that you can realistically assess your options.
Doing this examination may seem tedious, but it is crucial to your future success and will serve to ready you to write your resume and prepare for interviews, so don't skimp on this process. Here are a few strategies that may help you narrow the focus.
1.) Look back on your career to date. Examine what roles you played, what skills you have developed, and what specifically you have accomplished in each role. Then, highlight those accomplishments that make you feel most proud. Actually write this inventory down, or type it into a file so you can mine it for patterns that seem to emerge. Are there things that stand out to you? Are there skills you use over and over, talents that people always call on you to express? Those are the gold that can guide you to your next career path.
2.) Make a list of those things that you may have always thought you would like to do, or that have come to mind lately as a result of your new life situation. Is there a profession that has intrigued you, but has low or acceptable entry barriers? Is there a subject or an environment in which you have always wanted to work? For example, I love gardening and say that my next job should be in the garden department of my local Lowes. Now, I am a career coach and freelance writer, but that Lowes job still calls to me, though I am not certain it would support my current financial needs. Is there anything like that in the back of your mind?
3.) Take a look at flexible work and telework options that would use your current skills but not require the same level of stamina that your current job requires. Guru.com and FlexJobs.com are a few sites that will enable you to search for telework or part time options remotely.
4.) Once you have narrowed your job search focus, create your resume and approach to employers that highlights those skills and strengths that really help you stand out. If you are making a big career change, emphasize those skills that are transferrable to your newly targeted role.
5.) Give yourself ample time for your search. This may mean moving first, then looking once you are in your new location, because many employers will give preference to those who live in the region.

Finally, read through the Looking for Work resources on this site, and on other sites that are targeted at helping those over 50 find satisfying work. I am partial to www.LifeReimagined.org, the site that AARP hosts to assist those of us over 50 reinvent their lives and careers. Check it out. It is free and offers some great exercises, ideas, resources and examples of those who have made a similar transition.

You are setting out on a big adventure, Donnette. It will have its challenges and you may have setbacks, but I applaud you for making positive choices to find the best environment, the most fulfilling relationships and exploring work that will help you to fulfill the plans you have for the rest of your life.
Warmly,
Kathy Flora, Career Coach


Image of Donnette P.

Donnette P.

Mar 9, 2016

Dear Kathy,
Mahalo for the encouraging and hopeful response to my experiences and challenges. I feel like I have a road map now! Finding Cancer and Careers has been a God send! The resources available on the site have been so helpful as I have been navigating this journey to continue working. I know there will be times that I will need my patience and trusting my higher power, but I am so looking forward to and very curious about my new identity.
Sincerely
Donnette


Image of Kathy F.

Kathy F.

Mar 9, 2016

Donnette, You make me smile. If you have a chance after you move, check in your local area for a Life Reimagined Check-up. That is a free, two hour guided session with individuals like yourself who are seeking to reinvent their next steps. In fact, I just checked and there are several sessions planned for Washington State in March and April and beyond. If you go to the website and click the menu under events, then put in a location, it will take you to all the planned events.
Best of luck to you and do stay in touch and let us know how the move goes.
Kathy Flora, Career Coach


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